AI Epstein Voicemail Outtakes
These satirical outtakes are AI‑generated impersonations of Jeffrey Epstein, crafted exclusively for Torpedo Trump’s voicemail message project. Each version takes a different comedic jab, mixing dark humor with political bite. Listen, read along, and decide which one hits the target.
JE 1
“This is not Jeffrey Epstein helping out my friends at Torpedo Trump. Please leave them a message.”
JE 2
“This is not Jeffrey Epstein but yes, you have reached Torpedo Trump. The best way to reach them is by sending an e-mail to info@torpedotrump.com. That is T‑O‑R‑P‑E‑D‑O Trump, as in the submarine missiles that sink ships 100 times. With your help the USS Epstein is going to send all ships flying the Nazi flag to the bottom of the sea. We now have him within our sights, and it is time to fire Torpedo One. Visit TorpedoTrump.com to learn more. Leave a message here or send an e‑mail to info@torpedotrump.com.”
JE 3
“You’ll remember me, I am the holder of the world’s record for the number of American children raped and molested. This is all with the willing connivance of the most powerful man in the country, who will fight to the death to keep his crimes from being revealed. He and I were so close we were known as Trumpstein, like other famous couples like Bennifer and Brangelina. Expect the two halves of Trumpstein to be reunited in hell, really soon.”
JE 4
“This is not Jeffrey Epstein. He died years ago. But my friends at Torpedo Trump asked if I could visit from hell and help them. They’re campaigning against my old buddy and pal, the fat guy with the world’s most famous comb over. I have been a loyal fan for years, keeping his secrets. But I’m done with that. Learn more at TorpedoTrump.com or send an e‑mail to info@torpedotrump.com. You can also leave a message here, thanks.”
Which One Should Be Our Voicemail?
Tell us which outtake delivers the perfect punch.